Note: This is not a film critique. The comments below simply express how the movie made me feel. Oh and beware of spoilers.
I had a good day yesterday. I thought watching a movie would be perfect for the night, preferably a romantic film with a happy ending. I thought “Revolutionary Road” looked pretty interested — a couple going through thick and thin, heaven and hell (or however you want to phrase it), but eventually finding the peace and Love they’re looking for. Or at least, that’s what I thought it looked like.
I don’t deny that the film is photographed, written, and directed well. It is. And the performances by Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio were amazing, as expected, but my God, what an awfully depressing movie. The film sparked a lot of emotions in me. I saw some of my memories in them. Good memories and bad memories. Then I got angry when DiCaprio’s character cheated on his wife. Extremely angry!
But yes, I know the director is showing us how complex these characters are (as well as their lives). Again, this is not a film critique. It was nice to see the couple rekindle the spark that brought them together in the first place. It was inspiring and made me hopeful that faith and belief can overcome obstacles. But DiCaprio’s character is so pressured into a new job that he can’t pursue his dreams and stick to the plan. Then everything goes downhill.
I got extremely angry again when Winslet’s character cheats on her husband. I know these are the kind of emotions the director, Sam Mendes, was trying to invoke. It was such a painful scene to watch (you never see DiCaprio having sex with the other girl, but you see Winslet). The next day, a huge argument erupts between DiCaprio and Winslet. DiCaprio says, “You are not crazy, and you *do* Love me, that’s the point.” Winslet, caught up in her defense-mechanism of laughing, says “But I don’t Love you. You were just some boy who made me laugh at a party.”
Ouch, ouch, ouch. The crazy part is that when DiCaprio almost breaks into tears at that moment, I know exactly how the character is feeling. EXACTLY. Your mind is swirling like crazy, you’re frightened, you’re terrified, you’re hurt, you just flat out feel like you’re going insane. Someone you Love tells you that they don’t Love you anymore. God, what a horrible feeling…
And then Winslet’s character tries to have an abortion. She ends up dieing. Ok, this was the part of the film where I felt like yelling at the filmmakers. Why?! And then people tell me the movie is “realistic.” Does anyone else notice that almost every movie that has a sad ending is considered “realistic”? What do you call the films with happy endings? What, are there no happy people in the world?
The other problem I had is that they try to make Winslet the “crazy wife.” It seems like the filmmakers want us to feel DiCaprio’s pain more, while making us question whether or not Winslet really Loved her husband. Women aren’t strong enough for Love or something? This could have been a great film if the sexism and pessimistic attitude was taken out of it.
I know there are arguments that the film is very complex, but I don’t really have any interest discussing it any further. The movie just messed with my mind in a weird way. I think people are afraid of happy endings these days. I wonder why. Maybe the film was trying to tell us how screwed up society is and how dreams are easily broken. *shrugs*
Chiara said,
July 17, 2009 at 2:58 am
I haven’t seen the film but a number of your comments twigged thoughts.
Realism as a literary and cinematographic style or period involves the negative side of reality, and unhappy endings as if the positive and the happy don’t happen (ie in direct reaction to Romanticism and Frye’s the romance narrative).
Rather than realistic, in the common sense of the term, the movie sounds moralistic–see what happens to people who cheat: they go insane or at least feel like it, and women who cheat are especially evil and must really be crazy (because afterall men have urges, and good women are naturally pure). They must be punished for their transgression with insanity or the social label of insanity (in some ways the same thing).
Women who have abortions MUST die, in this moralistic view. They are too evil to live, and talionic law applies: a life for a life. This is of course medically UNREALISTIC since a medical abortion is safer than labour and delivery, in terms of mortality and morbidity.
The I don’t think I love you anymore, followed by I never loved you and our whole relationship was a mistake is a common speech by the one breaking it off, in their own emotional turmoil. Definitely painful though.
If it is any consolation, a friend FINALLY decided after 10 years to leave her husband whereupon he died of bone cancer (2-3 months later). She rejoined him for his brief illness, became a widow, was besieged by first wife, and 4 adult kids looking for past alimony and child support–in short a 4 country legal mess.
On the first anniversary of his death she rented a movie to help her ease the pain, and forget her loss. She picked one with a beautiful ocean setting thinking to be soothed by the visuals. Unfortunately she didn’t pay much attention to plot, and found herself in despair watching Message in a Bottle, the Kevin Costner film about his grief for the death of his wife. Even the happy Hollywood ending didn’t help.
I doubt I’ll be seeing the film Revolutionary Road–it already has me using CAPS!
otowi said,
July 17, 2009 at 4:44 am
My mom and I often enjoy movies with happy endings much more than those that don’t. A lot of these depressing movies leave you feeling – what’s the point, why did you bother to make this, it isn’t entertaining and there isn’t a message that really matters. It is just a story, a depressing, dumb story.
And I understand how you feel about cheaters – they really upset me, too – and I hate when Hollywood puts that kind of stuff into movies like it is nothing, like it is ‘just part of life.’ Cheating is a choice, it doesn’t have to happen at all.
pink said,
July 18, 2009 at 8:52 am
oh im glad i jst read ur post – i was under the same impressions about the movie as well and was planning on watching it today to cheer me up – but it sounds like a major tear-fest so definitely one to avoid in my current state, thanks!
amosanonslinkblog said,
July 18, 2009 at 1:15 pm
The bottom line is that good news and heartwarming stories do not make blockbusters.
SakuraPassion said,
July 22, 2009 at 7:52 am
Well what about all these romantic comedies? They make into blockbusters, but to be honest, I like stories that don’t have endings all the time, because happy endings aren’t always realistic. I think Revolutionary Road was a good movie, it did a good job of showing that just because people look happy, that doesn’t mean they are. I was disappointed that it wasn’t good enough to measure up to the novel. But it was a good movie all around.
It just showed how conformist American society was back then. Ideally, you got married and had children, the wife stayed at home and took care of the children and the husband went out to work, but in reality, there are people out there who weren’t happy doing this.
brokenmystic said,
July 22, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Hi Sakura,
My post was more about my emotional reaction to the film and how it reminded me of certain memories that I’ve been trying to distance myself from. I’m sure the movie can be appreciated for whatever it is.
I just don’t like how the word “realistic” always gets tagged with movies with sad endings. I don’t recall ever seeing movies with happy endings being considered realistic.
I guess everyone gets something different out of movies like “Revolutionary Road.” Since it brought back bad memories, it got me depressed, but I’m sure others can see it in a different light (like the perspective you shared). Thanks
Chiara said,
July 22, 2009 at 7:40 pm
It seems as if the book and the film are well done, and intelligently pessimistic. “Revolutionary Road” is doubly ironic, as a comment on the conformity of the 50’s (published 1961), and as comment on their failed attempts at being revolutionary. In fact they are the ultimate in 1950’s conformity, he learns to adapt to a mundane job, and she is the ultimate in the crazy housewife ’50’s style.
As I said above the film itself untimately seems conformist, and moralistic.
I read some of the dialogue quoted. OUCH!
Hmmm more CAPS! LOL!
Honey said,
August 18, 2009 at 6:43 pm
I agree with you, i feel the same way as u did. Kate winslet character was a thankless wife, who will never be happy in her life, cause she is never content with her life. Thats the truth, human never be satisfied.
haiti said,
November 16, 2009 at 10:04 am
hmm happy films let me think.. maybe those old musicals will serve you well and Disney’s, Enchanted. There’s many uplifting romantic movies out there.. apologies.. I just can’t remember their names at the moment. Because they are that memorable.
Your still suffering.. urgh… if it’s any consolation you may want to consider reading Victor E Frankl’s Man’s search for Meaning? and then read the Qur’an.
I used to feel the same things you feel.. it’s just that your more coherent in expressing yourself…
and more committed to expressing it, than I can. I also underwent some of the humiliating process of having plead for things to return as they were. Whatever that was. Looking back, I realize that I was only in the way of my own growth as His creation.
It is very strange how, it used to be such a big deal then.. and now when I have finally gotten over it, with Allah’s grace, I can so easily just smile about it. Allah has willed it to be. And it is the wisdom of time, experience and faith that allows me to look at it for what it is, and to genuinely thank Him.
I pray that you experience this too, the sooner the better. Brother, once you put your trust in Allah, you experience a liberation that is almost indescribable, (ok at least to me, maybe you will have better success at describing than I ever will in a lifetime).
Honestly, I really wonder what is the wisdom of paying too much attention to the capricious heart? Akhi, you have the potential of being something, you can realize it, if only you spent your love for Him rather than for her.
brokenmystic said,
November 16, 2009 at 3:20 pm
Haiti,
Your experience is not the same as someone else’s experience. Your feelings are not the same as someone else’s feelings.
Please refrain from making judgmental and condescending “holier than thou” remarks on my blog. My Love has always been for Allah, and I have made that clear on my blog. Either way, there is no way you can look into my Soul and see that.
I am at peace, thank you.