Salaam alaykoum – Greetings of Peace upon all
Welcome to my new blog on WordPress.com. This isn’t my first blog, I’ve actually published other blogs on MSN spaces and Blogger.com. I didn’t write much on the latter, but I’ve had my MSN blog since 2005 — it’s called Realm of Mystics and Seekers. I’ve been quite devastated and depressed lately, and so I thought making another blog would be a healthy way to recover. I chose to discontinue posting on my other blog because it’s filled with memories and I feel it’s better to leave it untouched.
Before I continue, I guess a brief introduction would be nice. I just turned 24 years earlier this month. I consider myself a devout Muslim and although I don’t call myself Sunni, Shia, or Sufi, I was born Sunni, but share many Shia and Sufi beliefs. I believe a lot of ignorance exists about Islam in the western world, but there is also plenty of ignorance about it within the Muslim community. I strive to journey on a mystical path – one which enables me to travel closer to my true Self, God, and Love. I’m also a student/independent filmmaker. Lately, I’ve been focusing on material that discusses Muslims in the post 9/11 era. Obviously there are a lot of misconceptions about Muslims in the media, and I believe having prominent voices in the media would significantly help break stereotypes. My other interests include psychology, music, art, poetry, reading, writing, philosophy, photography, roller hockey, and a whole bunch of other things!
Anyway, back to the reason why I decided to create another blog: I lost my Soul Mate. People may laugh at that, but whatever I experienced with her was the most Truest thing I ever felt. This blog is not about her, it’s not about our problems, it’s about venting and “moving on” I guess, although I’ve been despising this phrase lately. I’m sure there are many other people who have gone through this, but I just feel that whatever happened to us was unfair. I never felt so broken and weak before. What happens to all the beautiful experiences that people share together. What happens to all the things that were spoken, expressed, and created in the Name of that Special Love?
I can’t eat sometimes. I can’t sleep because every night I dream of her. When I look at the sky, I don’t see anything. I’ve begun to question God’s plans. I question all the signs that I truly felt were Divine. We always held God close in our relationship, but one day, she lost feelings. She doesn’t even know herself what the reason was. And what can I do? I cannot force anyone to feel something. But after such a profound relationship, how can I forget all the Beauty, all the Truths, and all the wonderful moments we shared? Where does it all go? Other people break up because of cheating/unfaithfulness, lying, or physical abuse, but we had none of this. Sure, arguments here and there, but everything was beautiful. I do not believe our relationship lacked logic or reason, but perhaps she did. Perhaps she saw our lives were not compatible because of our separate careers and ambitions.
Thank you for reading so far. I promise to make my next post more interesting. If you find this blog worth visiting and would like to come back, you are more than welcome to. Thank you.
Salaam/Peace
~ Broken Mystic
