For Intimate, Silky, Romantic Moods…

Yesterday was a wonderful day, alhamdullilah!  When I drove home late last night, I held my hand out the window and felt as if I was holding Allah’s Hands.  These kind of spiritual/mystical experiences are always really special and meaningful to me.  It’s a beautiful feeling to feel Divine Love.  I can’t do the experience justice in words, but it inspired a poem that I will post soon.  In the meantime, enjoy this romantic tune by Yanni.  It’s from his latest album, “Yanni Voices.”

Out of the Gray Ashes

My current mood.

I like the deep male vocals on this song.  I found this band, “Arcana,” through an awesome cover they did for a “Dead Can Dance” (DCD) song.  Fans will easily pick up the DCD influences in Arcana’s music.  I Love how this song is haunting and yet uplifting at the same time.  I have the lyrics stuck in my head:  Out of the gray ashes, a seed will grow…

When all the fires and storms have faded
Out of the gray ashes, a seed will grow

When all the earthquakes have stopped
and the last bomb has been dropped
When the last man fall dead
to the ground

Out of the gray ashes, a seed will grow
Out of the gray ashes, a seed will grow

- Arcana

Tere Bin (Without You)

This song captures my current mood.  I used to listen to it all the time after things fell apart.  The lyrics are really sad, and yet, I strangely find comfort in listening to it.  It’s sung by a Pakistani singer, Atif Aslam, who performs many songs for Bollywood movies now.  I don’t usually listen to Bollywood/mainstream music, but this is an exception (just ignore the video if it’s too racy/silly for you, lol).  Aslam has some really beautiful vocals that carry a lot of longing that I’m sure many of us can relate to.  Sing along if you’d like.

Tere bin-nnnnnnn main yun kaise jiya?
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin?
How can I live without you?

Tere bin main yun kaise jiya
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin
How can I live without you?

Lekar yaad teri raaten meri kati
I spent the nights with your memories,
Mujhse baaten teri karti hai chaandani
The moonlights talks to me about you,
Tanha ha-aaaaaaiii tujh bin-nnn raaten meri!!!!
My nights are lonely without you!!!!!
Din mere-eeeeeeee din ke-eee jaise nahi!!!!
My days are not like normal days!!!!

Tanha badan
A lonely body,
Tanha hai ruh
A lonely soul,
Nam meri aankhen rahe
My eyes remain wet,
Aaja mere ab rubaru
Just come before me now,
Jeena nahi bin tere!!
For there is no life without you!!!

Tere bin main yun kaise jiya
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin
How can I live without you?
Tere binnnn main yun kaise jiya-aaaaaah
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin
How can I live without you?

Kabse aankhen meri raah mein tere bichhi
My eyes lay unto the road you left by,
Bhule se hi kabhi tu mil jaaye kahi
In the hope of finding you somewhere by chance,
Bhule na-aaaaaaaahh mujhse-eee baaten teri!!!!!
I cannot forget the conversations with you!!!!!!
Bheegi haaaa-aaaaiii har pal aankhen meri!!!!!
In every moment, there are tears in my eyes!!!!

Kyun saans loon??
Why should I continue breathing??
Kyun main jiyu??
Why should I live??
Jeena bura sa lage
Since life has become so unpleasant,
Kyun ho gaya tu bewafaaa mujhko bata de wajah
What have you turned away, give me the reason why?

Tere binnnnnn main yun kaise jiya-aaaaaaaah
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin …
How can I live without you????
Tere binnnnn main yun kaise jiya-aaaah?
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin?
How can I live without you?

- Atif Aslam, Tere Bin (Without You)

An Unforgettable Night With “Bat for Lashes”

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Earlier this month, I went to see one of my favorite musicians, Natasha Khan (aka “Bat for Lashes”) perform live at the First Unitarian Church in Philadelphia.  It was definitely one of the most unforgettable musical experiences I’ve ever had.

I wanted to attend the concert with some of my friends, but everyone I called that day were either busy or out of town, so I decided to go by myself.  While I would have liked it if someone came along with me, I think going alone made the experience that much better.  It gave me some personal time to privately connect with the music and escape with it.  It’s hard to describe or even categorize the music of “Bat for Lashes” because of how unique they are, but if I were to draw comparisons, I would say they’re like a cross between the “Cocteau Twins,” “Bjork,” and “Claire Voyant.”  It was amazing to see Natasha Khan’s energy on stage; you can tell how passioante she is about performing and singing.  She has an incredibly beautiful voice and unlike most mainstream singers, she doesn’t manipulate or alter her voice.  The way she sounds on the album recordings is exactly how she sounds live.

There are a lot of magical themes in Natasha’s music and it’s something I appreciate enormously.  I think a fantasy element is essential to us, and yet it seems that humanity runs away from it.  I’ve noticed, especially in the academic setting, that people tend to take on a more “logical” and “rational” approach to things, which is fine, but whenever a spiritual perspective is suggested, it seems there’s often a negative reaction to it, as if spirituality is something reserved only for places of worship.  I get a strong spiritual vibe from Natasha’s music, but I think there’s a unique fantasy element that is intertwined with it.

When we “grow up,” we detach ourselves from fairy tales because we learn that they’re not “real” — “real” in the sense that we cannot see a unicorn or actually fly out of our windows.  In the midst of this reasoning, I believe we miss out on the point of these stories, particularly the beauty and gift of the human imagination.  I believe everyone has an inner life that serves a significant purpose in the way we look at the world, interact with others, and manifest our own creativity.  Our ability to imagine things, to me, is not so much about seeing than it is about believing.  Sure, there’s escape and fantasy, but there’s something else there that connects with us deeply, something that evokes the importance of transcendence.   We’re surrounded by superficiality all the time and yet I believe a lot of us remain confused about what is “real” and what is “unreal.”  True Love versus the material world — both things are perceived as unreal to us, but in different contexts.  We think True Love cannot exist because it’s just too good to be true, but mostly because of the superficiality that surrounds us.  It doesn’t make True Love false, it simply reveals that True Love is something to be discovered amidst the illusions of the world.

Natasha Khan sings about things that many of us don’t believe in anymore.  She calls us to return to our childood, to revisit forgotten fairy tales, and to learn there is purpose in believing.  I let my imagination take flight after the concert was over as I walked towards my car in the parking lot.  I was reminded of the Angels that sit upon my shoulders and guard me.  I imagined them and reflected on how much we ignore the unseen reality.  I was reminded that we have friends in the unseen world; friends who never want us to see us frown or feel alone.

I also have to say that it meant a lot to see a fellow Pakistani on stage (Natasha Khan’s father is Pakistani) and seeing so many people who appreciate her music.  I read in an interview that she received a lot of racial slurs when she was younger and it’s really repulsive when I see the same remarks being made about her on some of the YouTube comments.  On the bright side, it’s nice to see people taking a stand for her and showing their support.  I’m sure that, for the most part, she’s breaking a lot of stereotypes.

Here’s a live performance piece by “Bat for Lashes” that I’ve been hooked to!  Definitely check out 2:57 and onward — everything from Natasha Khan’s energy, vocals, the incredible drumming, and the synth work works in beautiful harmony:

Niyaz: A Gift from the “Nine Heavens”

In the mystic garden where ardent passion emanates in every bloom, even Beauty is difficult to see when the Beloved is separated from the Lover. The clouded skies and rainstorms loom over the night, but the Lover still plays his song for the wounded flowers and silent fountains. Left alone in an estranged land and with no compassion, he continues to sing, sending his longing out to the world so that his sorrow may echo into eternity. Maybe some day, the painful state of his exile will bring back the Light that once graced upon his rose garden. But in his relentless tears and heartbreak, little does he know that the Presence of Beauty is Eternal, and that Angels listen to his yearnings with the ears of God. One yearning he has, and that is reunion, if he were to yearn at all. One desire he has, and that is reunion, if he were to desire at all…

This kind of vivid imagery comes to mind when I listen to the new “Nine Heavens” album by “Niyaz.” Some of the lyrics from the album are contained in the paragraph written above and they reflect what I feel when I hear the sound of folkloric and 13th-18th century Sufi poetry fused with hauntingly beautiful vocals, classical instruments of the Islamic world, and modern synthesizer ingenuity. I have been following the truly spiritual and beautiful musical talents of Iranian songstress, Azam Ali, since her first album with “Vas” — a band that not only explores the inner world within all of us, but also one that breaks all conventional boundaries. On the four “Vas” albums, Azam Ali remarkably sings in a made-up language, representing how some of the most profound and beautiful things in life, like Love and God, cannot always be expressed in mere words. But Azam Ali isn’t the first singer who exposed me to this kind of music — before I heard about “Vas,” my favorite band at the time was “Dead Can Dance” and their lead singer, Lisa Gerrard, sings in the same way. When I first heard their music in my late teens, I thought she was singing in Arabic because the music is very Middle-Eastern, but after I read an interview with Ms. Gerrard, I learned that she’s really not saying anything at all! I had never heard this kind of music before. Many of my friends couldn’t understand it and they would ask me, “how can you listen to someone who isn’t even saying anything?” I found the music absolutely liberating, especially from the dullness and lack of originality in mainstream music, and it allowed me to explore my thoughts, my imagination, my muse, my soul, and it made me paint my own interpretations of her amazing vocals. Even today, when I listen to Azam Ali or Lisa Gerrard, I am mesmerized at how their voices encompass so many emotions — pain, sorrow, joy, longing, desire, anger, passion, peace, etc. (Chances are that you’ve already heard Lisa Gerrard’s voice if you’ve seen Ridley Scott’s film “Gladiator” with Russel Crowe. The ethnic and ethereal female voice in the background music is hers, and like her work on “Dead Can Dance,” she’s not singing any particular language. She also composed the film score with Hans Zimmer).

But since “Dead Can Dance” broke up in 1998, I was worried that I would never hear this kind of music again until I learned about Azam Ali and “Vas.” The two bands are not the same and it would be a sin to compare them and debate about which one is better because they are both unique in their own way. There is not a band like “Dead Can Dance” and there is not a band like “Vas.” After Azam Ali’s fourth (and final, it seems) “Vas” album in 2004, she produced another album a year later called “Niyaz.” Unlike her music on “Vas,” she is accompanied by multi-instrumentalist (and husband) Loga Ramin Torkian and Carmen Rizzo who plays keyboard and synthesizer. She is also singing in actual languages: Farsi and Urdu. The band is self-described as “folk music for the 21st century” and just like “Dead Can Dance” and “Vas,” this band is one of a kind. Anyone who knows me knows how special that first “Niyaz” album was for me. It not only resurrected the Sufi poetry from the great mystics like Jalaluddin Rumi, but it also showed the world a side of Islam that most of us don’t see. It showed us that Islam, like all religions, is about Love and Beauty. I remember wanting to say “thank you” to Azam Ali personally for creating this wonderful work of art and showing the world how beautiful Islam and its various cultures are. The album was also special because it was dear to me and my friend. My friend who has left me — the reason why this blog is called “Broken Mystic.”

And now, upon anticipating the new “Niyaz” album, I couldn’t help but think about her again. After being able to relate to this music together on so many levels, it’s hard to forget these memories. I was initially worried that I would not be able to hear it since it would probably remind me too much of her, but as soon as I played the “Nine Heavens” CD in my car, I felt spiritual healing. I bought the CD the day it came out and I had to even drive some extra miles to get it, lol, but it was the perfect day to buy it. I had a long drive ahead of me, it was beautiful outside, and it was just perfect for me to listen to the new music while I drove. The CD opens with a fun track called “Beni Beni” where Azam Ali sings in Turkish! It is a traditional Turkish Sufi song about longing to be united with God. The song is very festive, and the instrumentation is so complex and absolutely amazing — this is one of the many reasons why I Love Middle-Eastern and South Asian music. I teared a few times when I listened to “Tamana” and “Feraghi” because they remind me of my heartbreak and how devastated I was after my separation. The pulsating and bass thumping tabla on “Tamana” make it the most cinematic track on the album and although it reminded me of my pain, it brought forth healing. It reminded me that I am moving forward, as if into a new life, and I am carrying all the positive energy with me. When I read the English translation of the Farsi lyrics for “Feraghi,” I felt it described everything I feel in my separation. It sings of separation, of abandonment, of exile, of being left alone without any compassion, and of longing for a return. It made me sad, and only because it made me think about how I will never see her again. Shortly later though, I felt better because I reminded myself that many people understand what I’m going through, and the lyrics of the song represents that.

The violins on “Allah Mazare” are gorgeous and resonate with orchestral beauty, while the ecstatic pace of “Molk-e-Divan” blasts with beautiful percussions and brilliant guitar and saz performances by Torkian. The Farsi lyrics on “Molk-e-Divan” and “Sadrang” were written in the 13th century by Amir Khusrau of the Indian Subcontinent, who if often credited as the “father of Qawwali music.” Qawwali music is very prominent in South Asia and it is best described as Love and Devotional Songs in the Sufi tradition that praise God, the Prophets, and great mystics. “Ishq” and “Iman” are beautiful Urdu tracks; the former was written in the 18th century by Khawaja Mir Dard and sings about God’s endless Love: Tere Ishq main humne kya kya nahi dekha? That roughly translates as: What have I not seen in Your Love? “Iman” is the slowest and most ambient track on the album, and Urdu lyrics translate as: “Do not despair, for God is always there.” A great and much-need reminder for all of us, no?

I have seen “Dead Can Dance” in concert and I plan to see “Niyaz” some day too, insha’Allah. Azam Ali seems like a really amazing human being; on the flap of the album for “Nine Heavens,” she writes that one of her goals with creating music is to break stereotypes and misconceptions about Iranians and Middle-Easterners. My friend went to one of her concerts and told me how Azam Ali performs in suburban areas, where there are hardly any ethnic minorities, in order to promote dialogue, understanding, and multi-culturalism. I think that’s something really amazing and she deserves to be applauded, along with her band. Everyone is called an “artist” these days, but Azam Ali and Lisa Gerrard are the few genuine ones out there. “Nine Heavens” is not just a celebration of Islam’s mystical culture and diversity, it is also a bridge between the old world and the new. It is a fusion of the ancient and the modern, the East and the West, and it is one great song of the human Soul, its longings, its joys, its pains, and its calling to the Divine. Each string plucked, every drum beat, and every word sung is enamored wholly and purely with Love.

I would like to hear another “Vas” album where Azam Ali sings in a made-up language again, but it seems very unlikely considering how successful “Niyaz” has become. The addition of Turkish was an interesting surprise on this album. Maybe in the next one, she will sing in Punjabi and Arabic!

Salaam, be well and peaceful

~Broken Mystic~

In This Divide

Strayed into myself
To find this sort of faint star
That shone even in this divide
Of where I’d come to be displaced
But maybe here, where time is fleeting
I’ll try to fly, but not to stray

Cause we face the tides
Of will and divine
Though we mystify
What we flee and feel today

Strained by overgrown dreams
Rooted in disillusionment
But in the hour fate flaws
I know I’m not alone
And fall, it’s the way I know
And fall, it’s the way I’ll grow

Cause we face the tides
Of will and divine
Though we mystify
What we flee and feel today

And why, when there’s a way
Above the fire that fears of drought fill,
Do I crawl

~ Lyrics by Azam Ali
From the Album: Elysium for the Brave

Take Down a Musical Instrument

Lately, I’ve been experimenting with a computer electronic music program I have called FL Studio. Playing piano has been a hobby of mine since my father bought me an electronic keyboard when I was in 6th grade. A good friend of mine also owned a keyboard and he would always try to play melodies from movie soundtracks, so him and I would compete with one another on who could play a certain song first. Sometimes, we’d call each other over the phone and show off with what we figured out. The first tune I played was the “Mission: Impossible” theme, lol. This went on for a while and before I knew it, I could play “Jurassic Park,” “Star Wars,” “James Bond,” “Back to the Future,” and even classics like “Fur Elise.” I don’t remember exactly when I created my own song, but I know it was some time in high school. I guess I got bored of playing other people’s music, and also, I thought about creating music for my short films.

I never took any piano lessons, which still seems to surprise people when they see me play. I took a “Rudiments of Music” class in my Sophomore year of college and our final project was to write a composition. When I played my piece for my teacher (a song I called “Writing in the Dark”), he was impressed and said that I played like a professional. It was also cool to see him read my musical notes and play my song! It reminded me of the feeling I get when I see actors give life to the dialogue that I write in my screenplays. The more I practiced and played piano in front of guests and family members, the better feedback I received. My friends would tell me “compose your own music for your films,” and I just took it as a compliment and never thought about it seriously. I got my new keyboard when I graduated from high school in 2002, so yeah it’s pretty old, but still decent. Even though I wanted to form a musical band with my friends, it just remained talk and ideas, it was never as serious as our filmmaking.

So recently, I felt a desire to professionally record my music and when I learned that I could do this in my own house, I got excited and did research on what I needed to make this possible. It turned out that all I needed was a MIDI cable, which would enable me to hook my keyboard into my USB drive. FL Studio is an amazing program and I’m just amazed at how much people can do with it. I don’t mean to sound like a cheap advertising commercial, but the possibilities seem to be endless! I have a couple of plug-ins for orchestral and ethnic instruments — acoustic sounds that I would never get from my keyboard. I’m sure we all see the pros and cons of the technology age, but when it comes to creating music and filmmaking, computer programs such as FL Studio provide so many opportunities. Even with YouTube (where I plan to upload some of my short films, insha’Allah), one can share his/her work with so many people in the world.

I think it’s a beautiful thing for people to express themselves through artistic expression such as music. I know there are some Muslims who condemn music as being haram (forbidden), but I really mean no disrespect to their opinions and views on this matter. Prohibition of music is never even mentioned in the Qur’an; on the contrary, the Book of Zabur (Pslams) is mentioned and Muslims are taught that Prophet Dawood (David), peace be upon him, had a beautiful singing voice. I spoke with a contemporary Muslim poet in Philadelphia one year and we discussed the issue of music in Islam, and he told me that it’s a shame so many Muslims condemn it because music is very spiritual. The Qur’an itself, and the way it is recited, is actually very melodious, as is our daily prayers. Even in Islamic history, in the centuries following the death of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, many Muslims theorized about music and even influenced Medieval European music. Give Medieval European music a listen some time, and you will notice how you can find similarities in Arabic music. This is because 11th century Italy used earlier Arabic musical notations from the 9th and 10th century. In his book, Historical Facts of the Arabian Musical Influence, H.G. farmer presents the following comparison of Italian and Arabic notations:

Arabic Alphabet:   Mi    Fa    Sad   La    Sin   Dal   Ra

Italian Notes:          Mi    Fa    Sol    La    Si     Do    Re

It is also interesting to note that the Spanish form of music known as “flamenco” was created by Spanish Muslims who faced expulsion, forced conversion, and even death from the Catholic reconquest of Granada. Many of these Spanish Muslims (or ‘Moors’ as the Europeans called them) joined gypsies on their way out of the country. “Flamenco” derives from the Arabic term “fellah mengu” which means “country vagabonds.” What’s even more fascinating is when one looks at the evolution of musical instruments. From the 8th and 9th centuries, music instruments from the Muslim world spread into Northern Christian Spain, France, and Italy via Muslim entertainers and minstrels. According to historians and authors Dr. Rabah Saoud and Michael H. Morgan: “The Muslim ‘oud will spawn the European lute and later the guitar and mandolin. The Arabic ghaita will evolve into the Scottish bagpipe and Spanish and Portuguese gaita. The Muslim qanum will give birth to the English harp and the German zither. The Persian kamancha and Arab rabab will morph into the fiddle. The Muslim zurna, a woodwind instrument, will lead to the oboe. The Persian santur, an early form of the hammered dulcimer, will give rise to European keyboard instruments.”

Pretty cool, huh? As we consider history and then observe the type of music being produced in the world today (including in the Muslim world) we see less art in the entertainment industry. I’m sure there were Muslim clerics who prohibited music in the past, but I believe it was tolerated overall. I believe we see Muslim clerics condemning music today because of the type of material there is. Mainstream Arabic music, for example, emulates Western pop music. It tries to be unique with its tabla drum rhythms and Arabic scales, but the songs are so formulaic that Arabic originality is lost completely. Even in mainstream Pakistan and Indian music, we see the emulation of mainstream western music, despite the usage of sitars, flutes, and tablas. The emphasis on sexuality especially is very strong and its no wonder why clerics call music “haram.” I understand how music with pornographic and violent lyrics are considered haram, but what about the true artists and musicians out there who are making music to inspire spirituality, social change, unity, and peace? We don’t see the true artists put into the spotlight anymore because maybe these artists aren’t as “attractive” or “pretty” as record companies would like them to be, or maybe their lyrics aren’t as controversial and provocative as they “should” be. I find that there are very few mainstream musicians out there who are creating music for the passion of it. It’s so money driven that I cannot even bring myself to ever listen to the radio. My choice of music is very selective, and many of the musicians I listen to are Muslim, Middle-Eastern, and South Asians who aren’t even well known in their own communities! Musicians like the Iranian female singer/composer Azam Ali, the Indian-American composer Karsh Kale, the Turkish mystical musician Omar Faruk Tekbilek, Iranian New Age artist Jamshied Sharifi, Moroccan spiritual singer Hassan Hakmoun, the late Nubian traditionalist Hamza Al-Din; or the countless ethno-electronica bands and artists like Samsara Sound System, Afro-Celt Sound System, Dhol Foundation, Al-Pha X, Cheb i Sabbah, Mercan Dede, etc. Let’s not forget the legends like Pakistan’s Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan and Egypt’s Umm Kalthoum. Non-Muslim musicians like Lisa Gerrard (you may have heard her hauntingly beautiful vocals if you’ve seen the film “Gladiator”) and Elizabeth Fraiser also fit in this category of true artists. There are also many Sufi-inspired bands like Stellamara and Lumin.

Azam Ali’s “Niyaz” album celebrates ancient Sufi poems, and the band describes their album as “folk music for the 21st century.” Azam Ali sings Urdu and Farsi poems that have been penned by divinely inspired poets hundreds of years ago. Should we deny the talent and say that these kind of songs that praise God, the Prophets, and spirituality, are haram? I think the big misunderstanding that people make is that they think music is meant to replace prayer. Music has a place in this world and its not meant to argue that prayer is not a worthy practice. I believe that people are born with beautiful Gifts and if they do not share that Gift, then the world will be missing out on it. We would be denying our purpose in this world. I’m not trying to win a Grammy or anything, but I still consider music to be a special hobby of mine. It has also been a little therapeutic for me. It helps me express myself with all that I’m going through these days. Anyway, I thought about sharing some of my latest recordings on my blog.

The first song is called “Incomplete”. It’s only about a minute and a half, it was just a trial run because I was just testing out the program. This is just a short version too, I have the longer version but I haven’t recorded it yet. Insha’Allah I will soon. Right click on the title below and click “save target as” if you want to save it. You can play it with Winamp or Windows Media Player.

Incomplete – Viola Section.

The second song is called “Ya Nabi.” It can be difficult to record this song because of the two layers of piano and strings. I like the new orchestral sound it has to it, but I still think it sounds much better when I play it live. Anyway, my friends say that this is my best song. I made it for Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him. I can’t remember exactly when I came up with it, but I remember that it was after 9/11 when I was upset about Islamophobia and how our beloved Prophet was being vilified in the media (and still is). It has a very cinematic sound to it and sounds a little sad in the beginning, but it symbolizes my sadness at how someone so beautiful can be vilified.

Ya Nabi — Slow Strongs.

In advance, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to listen. The recordings are not the way I would like them to be, but I think they’re nice for a quick trial run. I find music is to be very spiritual and I think we need to encourage the Muslim youth to explore their creative sides more, rather than discourage them.

Today, like every other day, we wake up empty
and frightened. Don’t open the door to the study
and begin reading. Take down a musical instrument.

Let the beauty we Love be what we do.
There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

~ Jalaluddin Rumi,
13th Century Islamic mystic and poet