BURNING at the center
of mere being
there is a radiant star
blazing in all of its agony
to reveal a secret
that you never knew existed.

You are asleep
haunted by the phantoms
of illusory dream-world;
caught and entangled
in the chaos
of false liberation.

Awaken
to the sound of
shockwaves tearing
across the sky
as the whirling dervish rotates
with the dance of the universe;
pound the drum that stimulates
the mystery of heart and soul;
listen to the rhythm that pulsates
with mystic solar energy
of time immemorial.

You are dizzy
lost in this ecstatic high
ailing from confusion
the dervish says:
you have been drinking poison
all of your life
you have been a victim
of a sadistic science experiment
reprogrammed by greedy corporations
implanted with falsehood
artificiality of living
you are an android
dreaming to be
human.

Unplug yourself
From the lies
From deceit and deception
From the fear and misery
Unplug
From the system.

Come, this way
to the open field
where the blade of sunlight
pierces through darkness;
open your mouth
and drink some of this
become absorbed
in this hyper trance
turn, spin, whirl
up, down, left, right
let go
and become
nameless, faceless
directionless.

Discover your luminary self
conquer dizziness
burn through the shell
of temporal chrysalis;
radiate like celestial fire
emerge and bloom
into flowery madness.

Yes, you know who you are
You are here to set the world ablaze;
open your eyes
with the flame of ignited stars
and see the universe
that was created with One Divine Breath.

Inhale and exhale with that.

~BM~

Yesterday was a wonderful day, alhamdullilah!  When I drove home late last night, I held my hand out the window and felt as if I was holding Allah’s Hands.  These kind of spiritual/mystical experiences are always really special and meaningful to me.  It’s a beautiful feeling to feel Divine Love.  I can’t do the experience justice in words, but it inspired a poem that I will post soon.  In the meantime, enjoy this romantic tune by Yanni.  It’s from his latest album, “Yanni Voices.”

My current mood.

I like the deep male vocals on this song.  I found this band, “Arcana,” through an awesome cover they did for a “Dead Can Dance” (DCD) song.  Fans will easily pick up the DCD influences in Arcana’s music.  I Love how this song is haunting and yet uplifting at the same time.  I have the lyrics stuck in my head:  Out of the gray ashes, a seed will grow…

When all the fires and storms have faded
Out of the gray ashes, a seed will grow

When all the earthquakes have stopped
and the last bomb has been dropped
When the last man fall dead
to the ground

Out of the gray ashes, a seed will grow
Out of the gray ashes, a seed will grow

- Arcana

Note:  This is not a film critique.  The comments below simply express how the movie made me feel.   Oh and beware of spoilers.

I had a good day yesterday.  I thought watching a movie would be perfect for the night, preferably a romantic film with a happy ending.  I thought “Revolutionary Road” looked pretty interested — a couple going through thick and thin, heaven and hell (or however you want to phrase it), but eventually finding the peace and Love they’re looking for.  Or at least, that’s what I thought it looked like.

I don’t deny that the film is photographed, written, and directed well.  It is.  And the performances by Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio were amazing, as expected, but my God, what an awfully depressing movie.  The film sparked a lot of emotions in me.  I saw some of my memories in them.  Good memories and bad memories.  Then I got angry when DiCaprio’s character cheated on his wife.  Extremely angry!

But yes, I know the director is showing us how complex these characters are (as well as their lives).  Again, this is not a film critique.  It was nice to see the couple rekindle the spark that brought them together in the first place.  It was inspiring and made me hopeful that faith and belief can overcome obstacles.  But DiCaprio’s character is so pressured into a new job that he can’t pursue his dreams and stick to the plan.  Then everything goes downhill.

I got extremely angry again when Winslet’s character cheats on her husband.  I know these are the kind of emotions the director, Sam Mendes, was trying to invoke.  It was such a painful scene to watch (you never see DiCaprio having sex with the other girl, but you see Winslet).   The next day, a huge argument erupts between DiCaprio and Winslet.  DiCaprio says, “You are not crazy, and you *do* Love me, that’s the point.”   Winslet, caught up in her defense-mechanism of laughing, says  “But I don’t Love you.  You were just some boy who made me laugh at a party.”

Ouch, ouch, ouch.  The crazy part is that when DiCaprio almost breaks into tears at that moment, I know exactly how the character is feeling.  EXACTLY.  Your mind is swirling like crazy, you’re frightened, you’re terrified, you’re hurt, you just flat out feel like you’re going insane.  Someone you Love tells you that they don’t Love you anymore.  God, what a horrible feeling…

And then Winslet’s character tries to have an abortion.  She ends up dieing.  Ok, this was the part of the film where I felt like yelling at the filmmakers.  Why?!  And then people tell me the movie is “realistic.”  Does anyone else notice that almost every movie that has a sad ending is considered “realistic”?  What do you call the films with happy endings?  What, are there no happy people in the world?

The other problem I had is that they try to make Winslet the “crazy wife.”  It seems like the filmmakers want us to feel DiCaprio’s pain more, while making us question whether or not Winslet really Loved her husband.  Women aren’t strong enough for Love or something?  This could have been a great film if the sexism and pessimistic attitude was taken out of it.

I know there are arguments that the film is very complex, but I don’t really have any interest discussing it any further.  The movie just messed with my mind in a weird way. I think people are afraid of happy endings these days.  I wonder why.  Maybe the film was trying to tell us how screwed up society is and how dreams are easily broken.  *shrugs*

I miss you, memories…

One night, Junoon lay to rest with his beloved. Sometime during the middle of the night, she awoke and found Junoon’s eyes wide open. She smiled.

“You were watching me sleep?”

He smiled back. “Yes.”

“For how long?”

Junoon laughed. “I never went to sleep!”

Confused, his beloved asked, “What do you mean?”

“I don’t want to risk not seeing you in a dream, so I simply stay up all night!”

~BM~

This song captures my current mood.  I used to listen to it all the time after things fell apart.  The lyrics are really sad, and yet, I strangely find comfort in listening to it.  It’s sung by a Pakistani singer, Atif Aslam, who performs many songs for Bollywood movies now.  I don’t usually listen to Bollywood/mainstream music, but this is an exception (just ignore the video if it’s too racy/silly for you, lol).  Aslam has some really beautiful vocals that carry a lot of longing that I’m sure many of us can relate to.  Sing along if you’d like.

Tere bin-nnnnnnn main yun kaise jiya?
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin?
How can I live without you?

Tere bin main yun kaise jiya
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin
How can I live without you?

Lekar yaad teri raaten meri kati
I spent the nights with your memories,
Mujhse baaten teri karti hai chaandani
The moonlights talks to me about you,
Tanha ha-aaaaaaiii tujh bin-nnn raaten meri!!!!
My nights are lonely without you!!!!!
Din mere-eeeeeeee din ke-eee jaise nahi!!!!
My days are not like normal days!!!!

Tanha badan
A lonely body,
Tanha hai ruh
A lonely soul,
Nam meri aankhen rahe
My eyes remain wet,
Aaja mere ab rubaru
Just come before me now,
Jeena nahi bin tere!!
For there is no life without you!!!

Tere bin main yun kaise jiya
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin
How can I live without you?
Tere binnnn main yun kaise jiya-aaaaaah
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin
How can I live without you?

Kabse aankhen meri raah mein tere bichhi
My eyes lay unto the road you left by,
Bhule se hi kabhi tu mil jaaye kahi
In the hope of finding you somewhere by chance,
Bhule na-aaaaaaaahh mujhse-eee baaten teri!!!!!
I cannot forget the conversations with you!!!!!!
Bheegi haaaa-aaaaiii har pal aankhen meri!!!!!
In every moment, there are tears in my eyes!!!!

Kyun saans loon??
Why should I continue breathing??
Kyun main jiyu??
Why should I live??
Jeena bura sa lage
Since life has become so unpleasant,
Kyun ho gaya tu bewafaaa mujhko bata de wajah
What have you turned away, give me the reason why?

Tere binnnnnn main yun kaise jiya-aaaaaaaah
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin …
How can I live without you????
Tere binnnnn main yun kaise jiya-aaaah?
Without you, how can I live like this?
Kaise jiya tere bin?
How can I live without you?

- Atif Aslam, Tere Bin (Without You)

I am fuming right now.  Just extremely angry.  I feel like going off on an angry tirade.  I am sick and tired of arrogant non-Muslims acting like they’re the only authority on “honor killings.”  I hate how they SHAMELESSLY post bloodied images and videos of the victims just so they can make their obnoxious western-centric political points.   When a woman gets murdered in the United States, are they going to post her post-mortem pictures?  Are they going to make a little slideshow with sad American music and upload it on YouTube?  Are they going to make signs, t-shirts, bumper stickers, and posters that say “I am (insert victim’s name)” and march in the streets?

It upsets me even more when I stick up for others who don’t stick up for me.  It feels like I’m invisible to them sometimes.  I’m so mad that it’s better if I stop writing now because I’ll say some things I’ll regret later.  I know I’ll feel better later.

This is a little comic strip I drew towards the end of last year.  It’s just meant to be funny, so I apologize ahead of time if it offends anyone!

Greetings everyone!

I have officially decided to start a new blog for a number of reasons.  As you can probably tell from my “About Me” page, “Broken Mystic” originally started off as a very personal and private blog.  Somehow, the blog evolved into a more social and political one, lol.  There’s nothing wrong with that because I think those posts show that I’m getting back on track with my life, alhamdullilah, but I just think this blog should be limited to my personal and private thoughts.

I will still blog here and cross-post my poetry, but I won’t post anything on politics, current events, feminism, and media literacy here anymore.  I really appreciate all the readers I have on this blog.  For a long time, your comments have been so encouraging, supportive, and thoughtful, and they really mean a lot.  Sometimes, I would come home and feel in a bad mood, but then I’ll check my e-mail and see a really nice comment on one of my posts that tell me to keep my chin up or to remind myself that I’m not alone.  I created this blog so that I could vent and recover from heartbreak, and it wouldn’t have been possible if I didn’t have the support of my friends and readers.  It might sound strange to some, but blogging can really make a difference!  Having said that, I would really Love to share my new blog with you all.

If you’re interested, you can either e-mail me or you can just leave a comment here and I will e-mail you!  Whichever one works for you

Thanks again!  Peace be upon you, from my heart to yours.