Awaken

p20

BURNING at the center
of mere being
there is a radiant star
blazing in all of its agony
to reveal a secret
that you never knew existed.

You are asleep
haunted by the phantoms
of illusory dream-world;
caught and entangled
in the chaos
of false liberation.

Awaken
to the sound of
shockwaves tearing
across the sky
as the whirling dervish rotates
with the dance of the universe;
pound the drum that stimulates
the mystery of heart and soul;
listen to the rhythm that pulsates
with mystic solar energy
of time immemorial.

You are dizzy
lost in this ecstatic high
ailing from confusion
the dervish says:
you have been drinking poison
all of your life
you have been a victim
of a sadistic science experiment
reprogrammed by greedy corporations
implanted with falsehood
artificiality of living
you are an android
dreaming to be
human.

Unplug yourself
From the lies
From deceit and deception
From the fear and misery
Unplug
From the system.

Come, this way
to the open field
where the blade of sunlight
pierces through darkness;
open your mouth
and drink some of this
become absorbed
in this hyper trance
turn, spin, whirl
up, down, left, right
let go
and become
nameless, faceless
directionless.

Discover your luminary self
conquer dizziness
burn through the shell
of temporal chrysalis;
radiate like celestial fire
emerge and bloom
into flowery madness.

Yes, you know who you are
You are here to set the world ablaze;
open your eyes
with the flame of ignited stars
and see the universe
that was created with One Divine Breath.

Inhale and exhale with that.

~BM~

Delirium

+Master Doorkeeper b
The mystics invited me to their gathering
On the way, a strange man met me on the road
He stood before me, eclipsing the sun in his black robes
He said, “Come to the carnival instead”

I followed him like a ghost crossing into another world
Where everything is spoken through symbols and metaphor
I watched as we passed through the crowded fair
Of old and young lost in the recreation of ancient folklore

Wizards with their tarot cards, magicians in medieval costumes
Mimes trapped in their imaginary prisons
Fire breathers lighting up the sky in wonder
Appearing like dragons in the imagination of children

A sun-colored butterfly fluttered amidst the strange
I followed its flight to a stone-faced audience
Watching the puppet show of Crusaders and Saracens
Hypnotized by the centuries of cruelty and violence

My eyes sank in sorrow
Not realizing that the man I came with
Vanished into the unknown
Leaving only a compass around my neck

It pointed to a tall, thin man watching me with his gothic eyes
A crystal ball levitating in the palm of his hand
I looked inside and saw myself soaring through clouded skies
He veiled the image and invited me into the large tent behind him

“Come, step inside,” he said

Walking through, I listened to the magical bells
Echoing in peaceful jubilee
As a garden bloomed on the concert stage
With rose petals raining like dream-like fantasy

A young girl dressed as a princess
Whirling beneath the falling tulips
With a halo hovering over her head
And a precious smile painted on her lips

She reminds me of the ocean’s dance
When I was another child
Dreaming about portals in the sea
And escaping far, far away into self-exile

For a moment, it was all happiness and bliss
Like living in a floating sphere vibrant with color
Like beautiful words blown into the wind
Touching skin and heart softly like an Angel’s kiss

But how transitory that was
When the wild lights began to spiral
And I heard those crazy circus clowns
Laughing wickedly on their unicycles

Their laughter reminds me of hellfire
Roaring through those endless fields of mine
Burning every flower, slaughtering every dream
Leaving nothing left to grow, nothing left to find

They juggled their sharp and deadly blades
Grinning at the audience like cardboard cartoons
Each dagger spinning and slicing through the air
I can only hear violence and murder in their tune

As if they were putting on a sadistic show
Where I was the dummy flown to the highest cloud
Only to have my strings cut and fall below
Deep into the heart of the darkest abyss

I left the tent, not wanting to stay any longer
Yet it were gypsy strings that called me to another street
Beyond the ferris wheel where families gathered
Beyond the swan boats where Lovers drifted upon the lake

I saw the fiddle player sitting upon a stage
Next to a luminous unicorn glowing like a star in Heaven
A magician bowed her head as the marveled audience clapped
Her eyes searched through the sea of faces and met mine in unison

She smiled and said, “I need a volunteer”

As if it was instinct and meant to be
I rose my hand and made my way through the masses
She opened her hand, waiting for me
Like a savior offering eternal refuge and escape

Our fingers touched, our hands merged
I felt my heart tremble as a current rippled inside
She drew me silently up the steps
Like I was the seeker and she the guide

“This Way,” she whispered
While walking me to a double-sided door
Nothing behind it, nothing within
Just a frame of wood, nothing more

She wrapped a blindfold around my eyes
Mystified and blinded in darkness
She told me I could remove it soon
After I opened the door and walked inside

I took my careful steps, hoping for answers
And closed the door behind me
I finally removed the blindfold
Only to find myself in a hall of spiraling mirrors

I turned around and reached for the knob
But watched it unscrew and fall to the crimson floor
Pounding at the door, I heard nothing from the other side
The past sealed shut – no other way but forward

I walked to the center of the room
Watching infinite reflections follow myself
Gazing deep into my own eyes, I saw a storm gather
The joys, the pain, the misery, the light, the gloom

I became lost in my own self
Not wanting the heart’s agony anymore
A desire to flee from this shell swept over me
A desire I never recognized before

I thought to myself and longed for escape:

I’d rather be a statue in the water fountain
Engraved with a smile on my face
Handing out roses to the lonely souls
Who just want to live in a beautiful place

I’d rather be a voice in your mind
Telling you that it’s going to be ok
As you drive home alone late at night
Dwelling on your sorrows and contemplating suicide

I’d rather be the ever-present spirit of Love
Holding you in arms, whispering comfort in your ears
As you weep over your broken heart
And wallow in unwanted fear

I’d rather be a guardian Angel
For an innocent prisoner sitting on death row
Adoring her paintings and releasing her from the shackles
Carrying her beautiful soul into the next life

I’d rather be a drop of rain
Kissing your cheek for comfort
Or a ray of light from the sun
Reminding your heart that it will shine again

I’d rather be the gentle breeze blowing through your hair
Accompanied by the magical tune of the santour
A sheet of wind wrapping around you
Carrying your imagination to a distant seashore

I’d rather be a vision of a better world
Rushing into the arms of artists and activists
Celebrating in tears of joy as each and every dream
Is made real and manifest

I’d rather feel nothing
No anger, no hate, no pain
No one to hurt, no one to blame
Nothing to take, nothing to gain

“I” would rather not exist

And suddenly, the hallway erupted in laughter
My eyes darted down both ends of the room
Before realizing it came from my reflection in the mirror
“Why do you laugh?” I ask

“Because you are the real lunatic,” he answered
Mysteriously, he stepped out of the reflection
Standing in front of me, he said: “Yet you remain a coward”
“For all you know how to do is merely speak of non-existence”

Without warning, like a being possessed
I broke the mirror with my fist
And with one swift motion
I slit my clone’s throat with a blade of glass

The blood splashed on the mirrors
The entire glass hallway shattered – Kshhh!!
The pieces flew into my skin
As the ground beneath me shook like an earthquake

I fell through the floor
And found myself tumbling through outer space
Debris floating around me as I plunged deeper
I became surrounded by stars, distant planets and nebulae

Comets, meteors, galaxies whirling in darkness
I spun like a pinwheel, spiraling in every direction
My arms extending, my fingers reaching
Reaching for something in desperation

Reaching for Love, hope, beauty
For happiness, joy, euphoria
For peace, balance, tranquility
For life, home – something, anything!

My skin turning pale
My body surrendering
My blood freezing to ice
My heart beginning to fail

A voice enters my mind – Look, over here!
I turn and see Simurgh – my old Friend
Soaring through the heavens like a shooting star
Oh, Simurgh, I thought you were dead

Carried by the solar winds
She swoops above me – bloodied from our past
Before I could smile, her talons dig into my chest
And violently tears me open

My screams suffocated by the cosmic void
Only tears and blood can trickle from my eyes
When murdered by the Friend of Love
Only the soul can fill the universe with my endless cries

Amidst the pain, I heard sound emerge in space
I saw Simurgh pulling stars with her flapping wings
Energy and light – They raced in my direction!
I heard music! – Like a symphony of strings!

Luminous orbs of plasma gathering like an ocean
And swirling like a solar typhoon
I heard them whistling through the dark
As they charged towards my open wound

I heard the orchestra’s crescendo
The chant of mystics resounding
The passion drums pounding
Duum! Duum! Duum!

I understood now
As the realization came to me
“Death before death”
The Way to eternity

O Giver of Love and Mercy!
You have cut me open
Pull Your storm
Into me

Flames shooting out of my eyes
And infinite rays of light beaming in every direction
As my heart swallowed Heaven’s fire
Every star filling me with divine resurrection

I have exploded into infinity
Sailing to that Love I cannot name
Expanding forever with the universe
Bidding farewell to yesterday’s “me”

And upon those memories of sorrow, I smile at you

I am Supernova
And you are Stargazer
Watch the multi-colored flame
Of my Being shine anew

~ Broken Mystic~

The Ink and the Maiden

The ink of the pen longed for a book of pages to fill with rhymes
The poet purchased a canvas instead
To paint an enchanting maiden amidst the silent clouds
How jealous the pen became of the brush, it bled and bled
On the dull wooden table, it died in a pool of black ink
And never wrote a verse again

That night, the Poet-turned-Painter lay to sleep
While tragedy of the pen came to the attention of the blessed Stars
And the beautiful maiden emerged from the painting like an ethereal dream
With her affectionate touch, the pen’s dark bloodstains became like clean waters
And she gracefully poured it back to its container

As she gazed into the puddle
The liquid awoke from death and met True Beauty
It rejoiced in a way that no human eye could see
And thus, the world became anew to the pen

Even when it was sold, it remained happy
No matter if it was forced to write of the unreal or the real
It savored every press and release and every touch of paper
Because each time it wrote, it knew:
The face of the Friend was imprinted on every drop

How oblivious the Poet & Painter was
He had no clue
That his actions led to a Love
So beyond his world

~ Broken Mystic ~

Rebirth

I gaze upon the lonely sea
Shadowed by the gloomy clouds
And haunted by forgotten whispers
Through the fog, I set sail into mystery

Love has hovered over me
Waiting for me to submit to its will
Tear through me now, I say
Bring me shipwreck and drown this misery

Let me plummet into the heart of the ocean
Soak the map, slash the sails, crush the mast
Pierce through the wreck with Your Light
Only in Your Sea can the Seeker breathe

Pull me deeper
Until I am nothing
No name, no label, no face
Without want, without fear

Can you hear Bilal on his minaret?
La ilahaaaaa! Il Allaaaaah!
There is no god but God
Listen and be reborn to euphoria

I say:

Emerge – Star Light
Bloom once again – Sky Garden
Launch into Infinity – Wingless Flight
Sing among Angels – Song Bird

Charging out of the hail storm of mystery
Beauty whistles through the sky
A thousand sonnets are sung, a million stars are lit
Listen to your heart – it pounds at the gates of ever-lasting beauty!

Catch the rain of rose petals
Whirl like a fearless cyclone
You are Alpha and Omega
Fire and Water, Flower and Stone

How long will you let the laws govern your life?
Your wings are bleeding and you don’t even know!
The wind blows – turn, look around
Flowers bloom, birds over your head
The music plays – over here!
Unseen Angels by your side – Open your eyes!

O Human, you belong in the Heavens!
Impossibility is all you say
While Beloved is calling your name
A million times, over and over again

I will dance upon a cloud
And then dive into the heart of Beloved
I will spin away from time and space
And lose myself in the portal of grace

I am the Symphony
I am the bow, the string, the trombone
The flute, the santur, the sitar, the tabla
The wailing voice, the Gregorian chant, the mystic ecstasy

I am the bass, the electric guitar
The Buddhist throat singer, the ancient rhythms
The sky, the sea; I am the Earth
The soil, the seed, I am rebirth

I will be murdered a thousand times
Split in half, or in a million pieces
I will rise from the ashes by Merciful Divine
In endless new ways

Like Sohni and Mahiwal, Love is tragedy
Two Lovers drowned at sea
Like Sohni and Mahiwal, Love is forever
Death is the curtain to Eternity

Like Muhammad, step out of darkness
And upon every turn of your head
Only see the Face of Love
Follow it’s Radiance – the way of Transcendence

And in this new song
I am calling out to the Universe in longing:

Rooh mein bharde aagini!
(Fill my Soul with Fire!)
Fill my Life Saga with nothing but Love
Nothing but Love

~ Broken Mystic ~

Celestial Beauty

eclipse_2008-1

Last night, I got a chance to gaze upon the total lunar eclipse. It was incredibly beautiful, subhann’Allah, and very soothing too. I brought my video camera outside too and got some nice footage of it.

Isn’t it amazing how something you see on the outer world makes you reflect deeply on the inside? Just seeing the Earth’s shadow on the moon was somewhat frightening and yet humbling at the same time. Frightening because it reminds us of how small we really are in the Universe, and humbling because of how Great God is. I’ve always had a fascination of outer space exactly for these reasons, and also because human beings make such a big deal about the smallest things that they don’t take the time to recognize what is right in front of them.

Life is so precious when you let your eyes and mind get lost in the wonder of the stars. One of these days, I want to buy a decent telescope so that I can explore more of God’s Universe. When I was younger, I was fascinated by the thousands of galaxies that exist, and not surprisingly, I even thought about whether or not there was life on other planets. I suppose none of us know the real answer to this question, but I remember when I was reading the Qur’an, I noticed how we say: “Alhamdullilah ‘Rabil ‘ala meen,” which translates as “Praise be to God, the Lord of all the Worlds.” The term “Worlds” stood out to me because it’s plural, not singular. To me, this refers to the Heavens, the Earth, and the rest of the expanding Universe. Think about all the planets and stars and moons that exist out there, and then reflect on your own life and evaluate how you’re living. With so much meaning and beauty that exists all around us and beyond us, is it really worth it to place so much more emphasis over the spiritual?

Everyone has duties in this world — we have to apply for jobs, support ourselves financially, support our families, raise our children, etc. — but often times, we get so stressed out, angry, impatient, and frustrated with how things are that looking at the sky or moon doesn’t mean anything to us anymore. We can create a balance between our life obligations and our spirituality. I know it’s not easy, especially when it seems that negativity occupies your mind more than anything positive.

I felt comforted looking at the moon. Comforted because I know we’re all being taken care of. In the hands of a Creator who Created something so magnificent, how can we say that we are not in good hands? There was just one thing missing from my gazing upon the moon last night. I know He knows what it is. And I know He listens to prayers in all of our hearts. Insha’Allah.

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